Delaware -- Following the footsteps of her endorser Sarah Palin, who after her failed bid for vice presidency with the McCain campaign quit her job as governor of Alaska to pursue book deals and speaking gigs, Christine O'Donnell has announced a line up of engagements in the wake of her defeat for the Senate seat in Delaware in order to capitalize on her 15 minutes.
"All this publicity has been great, not just for me, but for the American people, who's voices are now being heard," O'Donnell stated at a press conference. "The everyday American people, who have everyday concerns, like the possibility their brains will be implanted into mice."
Ms. O'Donnell, who lost the general election for Senate to Democrat Chris Coons, has announced a number of new projects and appearances that are now available to her as a result of her new found fame. These include paid speaking engagements, a book deal, and an "ironic" guest appearance on the Disney Channel show Wizards of Waverly Place.
Critics have been quick to jump on this announcement, saying that the speed in which she has moved to profitable ventures means she was never serious about politics. Like Palin, they see her political aspirations as nothing more than a way to get attention.
O'Donnell, of course, says this is absurd. "This is not about me. This is about getting the views and beliefs of the American people out there. And since I can't masturbate, I need something to do."
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