But really, the whole thing kind of pissed me off. Mostly because there is a tiny, tiny bit of something resembling truth at the very bottom of his argument, and he uses it as justification for his dickishness.
Because yes, a lot of times it does seem the people who are genuinely nice and treat others well get the short end. There is a biological (sort of) explanation for why a girl might be more likely to remember the asshole she met at the bar last night instead of the gentler soul. And it's not just relationships. Douchebags tend to get ahead in the world in a lot of ways, which is can truly annoying and depressing to the rest of us. Those are valid things to complain about.
HOWEVER. To then say that all women are selfish bitches is a huuuuuuuuge unsubstatiated leap. Because even if there is that an evolutionary bias that helps the dicks of the world, there are also plenty of women out there who actively act against those instincts. Maybe they dated an asshole here or there, but eventually, they do find the nice guy they always said they wanted. I have a lot of friends who are in very happy relationships with either boyfriends or husbands, and they are not in fact dicks. They treat them well and respectfully. It happens.
No. The problem this "Nice Guy" has, and that others like him share, is they aren't actually nice guys. They are the worst of the assholes; the one's who have deluded themselves into thinking otherwise. Let's take a look at the sentence Nice Guy chose to isolate and bold:
I don't like having to tolerate women.See, women are just things he has to tolerate. And he doesn't like having to do it. So why is he putting himself through this? Because he wants to get laid. Plain and simple. He didn't want to be friends, he wanted romance. Who you were as a person and the actual relationship you had with him meant jack shit. He wanted to bang. And being "nice" was the way he thought he would get there.
Thing is, that's not being nice. There is no sincerity to his actions, he is merely acting towards an agenda. He is, in fact, a douchebag. Put another way, when someone tells you that you are "so sweet" or "so understanding," and your response is to want to "hit her repeatedly upside the head with a broken bottle," you kind of suck at the whole Being A Person thing.
The whole things comes across as nothing more than the bitter rantings of someone who has never been able to get a girlfriend (probably because his main concern seems to be getting their pants with no regard for things like "personality") and has thus decided that the problem must lie in all women being bitches and not in him being a tool.
There are so many red flags throughout it's hard to keep track. Yeah, I've heard the joke(?) about women dressing revealingly and then complaining when men leer at them. Because that makes it right, doesn't it? I never realized that morality and ethics could be changed simply by the clothes someone wears. And he obviously has no idea what sexual harassment at the work place is, since he thinks it's "dirty jokes" that are the issue. It's a bit more than that. For example, I'm sure he's cool with dick jokes, but if I always start telling tiny dick jokes whenever he joins the conversation, he'd probably start to feel a bit uncomfortable.
It all comes down to his mentality that "if it weren't for the possibility of having sex, half of all men wouldn't even bother talking to you." That's where his priorities are. And as a guy, it pisses me off. If all I wanted was sex, that's what hookers are for. I, and most men, I'd wager, are looking for a lot more in a relationship. And you make us look bad. Scratch that, you make us look awful. You make it harder for those of us who do actually care about others for who they are, and who want to be there for them not because we want to get our dick wet but because they are genuinely important to us.
So here's the rule: don't call yourself a Nice Guy. Not just this guy, everyone. Because it's a silly label that does conjure up the image of being that "perfect guy" that is always overlooked. But it's bullshit. First, I don't care how nice you are, you also have a dick side. We all do. I consider myself a pretty good guy, but I've been an ass and made mistakes just like everyone else. So while I may in general be a nice guy, I don't want to try and give off the impression that I will never hurt you or let you down, because I have in the past already (unintentionally or not) and by virtue of being human, will undoubtedly do it again. That's why it's important to have more in common with someone you're in a relationship with than a desire to have sex, so that you are able and willing to work through all the problems that will surely arise.
Second, if you are constantly being "overlooked" there is probably a reason for it. You might think you are just the bee's knees, but if girls just want to be your friend and nothing more, well, maybe you aren't as perfect as you think. Granted there are times when a girl just keeps making the wrong choices, but most of the it's really simple as they aren't interested in you. There could be a number of reasons, ranging from merely not being attracted to you in that way to holy fuck you are a creeper stop putting roofies in my drink. To see that you don't have a girlfriend and immediately blame Women is a huge leap in logic. Sometimes it takes a long time before you find someone. Fuck, it's taken me years. But I also never blamed anyone for my being single. I was never a dick about it.
This post is a couple years old. Hopefully Mr. Nice Guy got over himself and is in a happy relationship. But I doubt it. That's the major problem with "Nice Guys," they will never think they need to change.
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